When It Hits You Like a Truck

We were listening to a recording of Rabbi Ray Vander Laan while driving. He was explaining Hebrew culture and how knowing about it changes your perspective of the Bible. There are many things that we just do not understand simply because our culture is so different from the Eastern culture.
The Rabbi was talking about Paul and how it is stated in his letter to the Romans that "the just shall live by faith." Faith is what the English translation says, but the Hebrew word here actually means "faithfulness." Faithfulness to what? To His commands. (All of them.) I was listening and thinking and agreeing. Then his next words caught me. He said that faithfulness is what God wants us to pursue. He told the story of the Canaanite woman who wanted Jesus to heal her sick baby. Jesus at first refused, but she persisted. Then Jesus healed her because of her FAITHFULNESS--the SAME word Paul used. Rabbi also told about Abram. When God came to him in a vision and told Abram that he would be getting a great reward, Abram answered Him with a question about where all his children were. (I'm thinking Abram had great, big.... something to question God right after He's promised a great reward!) God took Abram out to look at the stars and give him a picture of his descendants. He was rewarding Abram because of his faithfulness and the pursuit of God--not letting go until he got what God had promised. God desires us to pursue Him that way--to continually petition Him to fulfill His promises.
At that very moment, it felt as though a truck had hit my chest. I felt physically pushed back, but not hurt. And He whispered in my ear. "My daughter," He said, "your faithfulness has not gone unnoticed."
And I burst into tears. (Did you know that tears really can spring OUT of your eyes?? Literally!!) Dimples nearly swerved off the road. The kids questioned me. "What's wrong??" I couldn't even answer. I was crying too hard.
We are (once again) dealing with a major crisis right now. Over two and a half years ago, God spoke to our family through several different people and told us that our family would be together AND completely healed. We are back together (that took 2 years,) but we are not any where near healed. And I am continually crying out to God to keep His promise. I have been feeling particularly doubtful that we will see the fruition of the second part of His promise because something very terrible happened about three weeks ago that tore our family more. I have been pleading with Him, "God! Please, heal my children! Make them whole again! You promised!" But I felt as though my prayers were falling on deaf ears. Suddenly, I was shook to my very core with His answer. He WAS hearing me! He was NOT ignoring me! He WILL answer me! In HIS time! And I very surely heard Him call me His daughter. Just as I have been pleading for MY children, so is He taking care of HIS children.
So, I will continue to petition Him. I will not let go of the promise He has made us. Faithfulness is what He desires. Faithfulness is what I desire.